ready to embrace my flaws
doesn’t matter the winter from my heart
today will be so good
ready to embrace my flaws
doesn’t matter the winter from my heart
today will be so good
Since it is the last day of the year, I was thinking to sum a bit my year, what I have achieved and what I have lost. 2019 was a good year to me, but also taught me how to become a more mature and realistic version of myself. I am very grateful for what I have received, for those who stayed and supported me unconditionally.
For those who are following my blog, you guys already figured out that I focused a lot on learning and improving my poetry attempts, especially haiku poetry. I started with poems based on visual and sensorial experiences, adoration of nature and of the skies, to the haiku in which I tried to express certain moods and feelings. Being an anxious person, the poetry helped me a lot in difficult times in order to better understand the nature of my feelings and acts and not to fear them.
This year as I said in the beginning taught me a lot about myself and my connection with others. I managed to still keep old friendships, some older than ten years, but I also figured out that those who are making place in their already busy lives are the real friends. I also made few new friends, work friends, university friends, friends that I have in common with my beloved one. Concerning my relationship with my boyfriend, Stefan, I believe that this year gave us the opportunity to strengthen our bond, to understand better each other’s need as individuals and as a team, but also to make some plans for the next year.
Regarding my professional life this year has also offered me a lot, one month after I graduated, I wrote my BA paper on French literature, I got a job at an international company. This opportunity allowed me to use my French knowledge, speaking and writing and also to learn things from the telecommunications domain which was completely unknown to me by then. The people I am working with are very friendly and everything is funnier and easier when working in a team. Iulia is definitely one of the colleagues who makes workplace a better place and friendship one of the most special bonds that one can have.
I tried let’s say so, to see in a restrospective way 2019, to briefly talk about what I achieved and I am very grateful. I hope that 2020 will bring to me as much challenges as 2019 and will make me realize how damn lucky I am. Wish you all guys, a good, productive and challenging 2020!
Thanks for passing by 🙂
Poem: © Valentina.
i damage my brain daily
with poisonous thoughts i do not know
why are still haunting me
Picture: We Heart It
It has been a while since I posted an article of this kind, but those of you who are following my blog figured out already that I focused on learning and improving my haiku poetry. This time I would like to talk about happiness, what it is to me and how I do acknowledge it. Despite being maybe a misused topic, the well-being and the fact that makes you feel at ease, I also think that you do not need a recipe to accomplish it.
I believe that happiness is more like a cause-effect concept, remember of the person you helped and he or she rewarded you with a hug or with a huge smile. If the joy that fills your being then it is not happiness then I would not know how to define that. One of the sources of genuine happiness I think we seek in making others happy or why not happier.
I have noticed very often in our modern times, people still continue to build their happiness according to needs of others, which I consider really wrong. I suppose the emotional dependency plays an important role in this situation, as long as people still continue to neglect their own needs they will not be feeling truly happy. Imagine maybe that one day, the person you worshipped will vanish because no one is immortal and some people intertwine with our life only to teach us some lessons. I think there is nothing wrong with supporting and loving those who are worthy of it, but never let them to persuade you to enter this dangerous and underwhelming game.
It is well known already that the so called happiness comes from the little things and I perfectly agree with it. I think is better to be grateful for what you have and not to feel frustrated because you do not earn as much as your colleague or that she goes to work by car and you by bike. Imagine if all what you see as proof of happiness are frequently a way to fake reality, maybe your colleague has an expensive car, but maybe she rushed to work with a boss exploiting her time and knowledge. Maybe she earns more because she gave up on many things in order to receive that recognition, while you had more time to do the things that you love.
In conclusion I would like to say to follow your heart in the pursuit of your own happiness and not of your friend or lover. There is no truly happiness without embracing the possibility of making others happy and feeling grateful for what you have. The moment you will figure out how many things you have, the people who comfort you and how you succeeded to get where you are now, you might realise how fortunate and happy you really are.
Thank you for reading,
Image source: Pinterest
Wish you all a wonderful day!
How do I know if it is not only another opinion of what has been written so far? I think this question haunts anyone who is painting with words. The answer to this question may vary, but I can say that I do not remember many writers who were very fond of their work from the very beginning. I think that self-criticism and persistence are wondrous tools for anyone who writes, in my case is really working and I am horribly critical with my own work.
I have to admit it, maybe this approach can make you feel like quitting, but always remember of your dream. It shall be big enough to make you work for it almost daily and to enrich you as individual, not financially because everyone can work nowadays, spiritually to fill the emptiness of your soul. As an example of persistence it crosses my mind the German composer, Ludwig van Beethoven, even when he was almost deaf, he did not give up on music. What it would have been the classical music without Moonlight Sonata I do not even want to imagine. So if you ever feel like quitting, remember of Beethoven, who left us masterpieces by keeping doing what he knew better.
Talking about inspiration, I think what we all we have to do is to seek it around us, we do not have to travel a lot or to watch lots of movies to find it. You can wake up in one morning and put down whatever crosses your mind, feeling inspired by the sunlight which pierced shyly your room and how fortunate it made you feel. I think that one problem in letting the inspiration flow is represented by our fears and desire to control everything. It is an acknowledged truth that the most beautiful things happen without any planning before. I believe that if a thing it makes pour your mind on paper, you can consider it as an inspirational source, even if it makes you to feel pleased with the result or not.
I am feeling inspired by nature, voyages, people around me or who were around me and taught me many things. I must admit, I personally avoid to write very optimistically because I always wanted not to distance myself too much of reality. Inspiration I think it is not a thing we seek, but most of the time it chases us. For example when you were in the bus and suddenly an idea crossed your mind and you wrote it in your phone. In my case it surprises me when I am supposed to do anything else and rarely day-time. Nobody should ignore the importance of reading in order to feel inspired, you do not have to read in order to copy anyone’s style or ideas, but in order to get new views and to form your own style starting from what you are reading.
However I think we should not be afraid of failure as long we enjoy what we are doing. As a reply to question of what I should write I believe that Stephen King’s point is pretty suggestive: “Anything you damn well want”.
Image source: Pinterest.
The following article it is the first post on my blog and I would like to tell you why I did start and what inspires me to keep writing. I do not know why other people write and what makes them to put their mind on paper, but it is certain for me the reason behind it. I wrote poetry in high school, even had small success, but I gave up on it, because I considered it trash later and not good enough to expand its horizons.
However I still continued to fill diaries with my experiences, my questions regarding : love, toxic relationships or with my so called purpose in life. No week passed without pouring my soul on paper, sometimes even days when I have felt too overwhelmed. Writing being back then a silent witness of my happy sigh or of my unspoken pains, there for me when I was madly in love and I felt broken, hopeless or depressed. Lately I started to write short prose in Romanian, but I consider to write short stories in English too and maybe share some samples with you. Once I reread them, I figured out how good writing makes me feel and how pieces of my personality were embodied by my characters, despite of the used omniscient point of view. Now I do write to ease my mind, but I also write samples for my dear ones, sketches for a more realistic approach of my characters and of course when I am supposed to study.
Therefore, this blog will be a flow of my mind and my weird imagination, but, also I will be talking about other hobbies of mine like : reading, travelling, cycling, etc. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it!